Scream.

You were silent.
I heard.
You are speaking.
Why can't I hear?

Don't tell her

Don’t tell her I drink tea and like it with less drama in it. Don’t tell her I got dirty little habits. I would like it if you omit me from the conversation completely. Don’t tell her how I haggle even for a fifty. Don’t tell her anything about me absolutely.

Don’t tell her I loved to sleep with your smell on my skin after every fuck. Don’t tell her how I do not smell like her. Don’t tell her I was your best friend and worst enemy. Don’t tell her how I used to get angry. I can’t imagine anyone knowing me more than you. Of course I can’t stand her knowing you better than me.

Don’t show her the places we went together and the places we could not. Don’t tell her how I used to climb on you and sing-songs, pull your hair and abused the Leons and the Brandons. Don’t tell her that I was a jealous, mean little girl. Don’t show her my faults. Don’t tell her how I used to sleep late and wake up at noon. Don’t tell her how I used to call agony home. Does she know I like brown towels and expensive toileteries? Does she know I am full of scary human imperfecions and follies?

What if we meet around the street someday? I would like to be in my best. But what if I look worn out, tired, burdened and wasted? Don’t hide it that I was yours someday. Don’t tell her all our stories and secrets but do tell her- “She had loved me going out of her ways.”

Don’t tell her how I have always waited for the fall. Don’t tell her I had loved to be lonely, insecure and went on biting my peace while waiting for her to return. I knew all the way she would. ALSO, don’t tell her that I lost because she won.

Baby.

A letter to YOU at 5.47am in a Thursday morning. Of a tedious week. After a sleepless night. 2 lattes. Few fried nuggets and a heavy dose of pop-music.

Dear "you know who you are",

It took me just 17 days and a few mid-night chats to fall in love with you.
It took me a month to respond to your lips.
It took me a year to know that you are in love.
It took me a year and a half to see my home in your eyes.
It took me a year and six months to realise I can wake up for you and make breakfast and coffee.
It took me a year and seven months to understand that I can't sleep sound without hearing you snoring.
It took me a year and eight months to learn that the butterflies in my heart still flutter bad every time we meet.
It took me a year and nine months to believe that I could trust everything I distrusted just to make you happy.
It took me a year and ten months to spot myself washing your tee-shirts and pressing them.
It took me a year and eleven months to know that I could burn my finger while cooking your favorite dish.
It took me two years to know that probably you are where I need to finally stop.
It took me two and a half to know that loving someone was not all that easy.

But it took me just a split of a second to realise today-

I am still beautiful because you loved me. The birds still sing because you sang to me. The roads still lead to the destinations because you have been the destiny. The coffees still taste alright because its with your name I still start my mornings. The prayers still reach my God because you instilled Faith in me. I still wake up, breathe and live it up alright because you made life happen to me.

Yours,
2 years and 8 months old relationship.